From the terminal of Spi

Furry is not the problem.

13-May-2020

Sometimes I've tried retreating into a "trusted, real face" account on Telegram, where I recluse into a zone where I keep only about 20 of my closest friends. I did this because I saw furry as a problem - my depressed self questioned why I am still running around as this shark thing at my age, among other things.

But when you feel like you want to hide away from that trusted account too... that gives you an indication that furry is not the problem.

That's... probably a powerful thing to know.

It means that I shouldn't try running away from my furry identity, if I still enjoy it for at least 80% of the day. And I do - for most of the day, I do.

Maybe the problem is just feeling exhausted at the end of the day, and I just need time to disconnect. That can be managed in ways other than running away from chats. I can block notifications for the night, and hide away to read a book or something, undistracted - just as an example.

I guess, when you've been living your life online for so long, blocking notifications feels rude. But perhaps "me" time is something I've been neglecting for a while. After being online for hours during the day, maybe tired me needs a chance to refresh.

Just a hypothesis, but it's a powerful one.

If I don't respond to your messages, particularly at night Australian time, don't see it as rude or something. I may just need time for myself. Thanks.